The Golden Reaping

It’s mid-morning as I step deeper into the mandala,

The sun shines brightly,

Warming me with its golden rays.

I enter from the South now

I fall down to the ground

And begin to decay,

My body becomes one with the earth,

Do I even exist anymore?

I rise up as a little hill.

I feel like this golden wheat field doesn’t want me here,

I’m not that big,

I’m a bit hollow due to still growing,

I’m not sure I belong.

Am I good enough to inhabit this land?

I start taking up more land.

I want to be worthy of the birds to drop their seeds,

I want to be admired by the butterflies,

Who notice my glorious flowers.

I want the bunnies to burrow in me,

To make me their home.

I spread farther now,

Taking more and more land,

Until I am towering.

I am covered in grass,

I’m decorated with trees and shrubs,

I have a handsome river running through me.

I suck and suck up land,

Never satisfied with my size.

I now tower over the land,

A grandiosity to behold,

But I’m not big enough,

I’m not grand enough,

I must continue to grow to be seen!

I must be the best,

The most beautiful mountain of all time.

Then, and only then, will I be happy.

I don’t even remember being the little hill now.

I don’t want to think about those things,

Those times.

I don’t feel like sharing my land anymore,

I rumble and quake every time a deer steps on my land now.

All of a sudden,

I burst open,

Crumbling from within,

My greed has cultivated lava,

But now I’m spewing out everywhere!

Oh what have I done?

I have forgotten who I was.

I forgot how generous the land was to share with me.

All I did was take,

To make myself look better.

Now I am a mountain of rock.

But I see myself in my beauty,

I see all that I have to give,

Still in this moment of reflective abundance.

I see my stability in the emptiness of my lands.

I allow myself to feel.

To feel it all.

To be in the spacious abundance that is my view from atop myself.

I witness myself and realize just how much I still have,

And all that I have to give yet.

I begin connecting with the animals and birds again.

I do what I can for the insects,

I whisper sweet songs to the rivers,

And once again,

I offer my self to the world around me,

In full connected community,

I see how precious life is,

And how beautiful my connections with others in sharing can feel.

Slowly over time,

My grass grows back,

More beautiful than ever,

My amber wheat fields sparkle in the sun,

All of my trees are abundant and heavy with fruit,

Baby deer, bunnies, hatchlings,

And caterpillars emerge and grow under the shade of my trees.

Oh what beautiful bounty it is to taste the sweet honey from the bees,

I am nourished by my life shared,

People come from the towns nearby to reap my harvests,

I stand with pride,

Knowing how lucky I am to get to nourish and care for those around me.

Oh what joy it is to have the honor of growing to be such a mountain,

Oh what magnificence to have gotten to feel it all,

To exist,

Together.